Grateful AF

In this episode we explore gratitude.  Not the typical, write down 10 things you're thankful for, but a deeper dive into experiencing gratitude through somatic practice.  I offer several somatic practices during this episode, as well as a few journal prompts to come back to, and a guided meditation at the end.  So grab a cozy cup of tea and a blanket and get ready to learn what experiencing gratitude in a different way feels like, in your body. 

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Transcript

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Welcome back to another episode of The Grounding Room. Today I thought we could talk about gratitude. Whether you're listening to this while you're driving or folding laundry, or maybe you're sitting quietly with a cup of coffee, I want you to know that I'm grateful that you're taking the time to listen to this podcast. This podcast was never started to pretend that life was perfect, and it definitely isn't about forcing yourself to be positive or ignoring the hard things in life. The thing about gratitude is that it's so much deeper than that. I'd like to explore gratitude as a practice of coming back to ourselves, to discover how gratitude can gently support our nervous systems and reconnect us with our bodies, while creating a space for some peace, resilience, and presence. Throughout this episode, I plan to guide you through some somatic practices, a gentle way to connect with your body, and I'm gonna offer some journaling prompts that you can return to whenever you need them. So wherever you are right now, take a nice deep breath in and exhale. Allow your shoulders to soften just a little bit, relax your jaw, unclench your hands if you're holding any tension, and notice that your body is already beginning to respond. Not because anything around you has changed, but because you've offered yourself a moment of awareness. That is where gratitude often begins, becoming aware of our surroundings. When people hear the word gratitude, usually they picture, I don't know, sitting down and writing a list of things that they're thankful for. And that's definitely one place to start. But gratitude is much more than a list. Gratitude is an experience, it's a feeling, and it's a relationship with the present moment. That's where awareness comes in. It's the ability to notice what is supporting us, even when life feels uncertain. Think about that for just a moment. There's so many times in our life where our life feels so overwhelming. And the ability to notice what is supporting us can actually help us work through the challenges. Right now, your body is doing so many things without being asked to do it. Your heart is beating, your lungs are breathing for you, the chair or seat beneath you is holding your weight, the ground beneath the building that you're in is supporting everything around you. There are so many countless forms of support that we rarely notice because they've just become familiar and comfortable to us. Our brains are designed to scan for danger. As an evolutionary perspective, this makes perfect sense. Our ancestors survived by noticing what could harm them. Even today, our nervous system constantly asks us questions like Am I safe? Is that person a threat? What do I need to prepare for? Whether tonight or tomorrow or next week or next year. The protective system is incredibly intelligent. But when we're constantly focused on what's wrong, maybe what we're missing in our life, or what might happen next, our bodies can stay in a state of vigilance. Our shoulders tighten, we clench our jaw, we have shallow breathing, and relaxing is so difficult for us. There's always a sense that we need to be doing more. And finding gratitude in things doesn't erase the challenges in life. It doesn't tell us to ignore grief or disappointment or the pain that other people cause us. Instead, it gently widens our perspective. It reminds our nervous system that alongside the difficult things, there are also moments of safety, moments of beauty, moments of kindness and connection that we have with others and to ourselves. Our body responds to what we constantly notice. Unfortunately, a lot of times we notice what's not going right instead of what is going right. I'm gonna invite you into a brief somatic practice. If it feels safe, if you're driving, don't do this, but if it feels safe to do so, place one hand over your heart and one hand over your belly. Simply just notice the warmth of your hands. Now maybe notice the gentle rise and fall of your breath. Now notice the support beneath you, whether it's the floor you're standing on or a chair that you're sitting in. I'm gonna have you take a breath in and out, and as you breathe in, slowly breathe in through your nose, and on the exhale, allow that to last longer than the inhale. And you can either say this next part out loud or to yourself, it doesn't matter. But as you breathe in, say I am here. And as you breathe out, say I am supported. I don't have to carry everything alone. Take another slow breath in. And out. And notice whether your body feels even one percent less stressed. It doesn't have to be dramatically different, just slightly more settled. One of the beautiful things about gratitude is that it lives in the body just as much as it lives in our mind. Think about a time when somebody showed you unexpected kindness. As you remember these moments, notice what happens inside your body. Does your chest feel warmer? Does your face soften? Do your shoulders drop? Maybe your breathing becomes a little slower, but these physical sensations matter. Our bodies remember moments of care. When we intentionally revisit experiences of safety, kindness, and connection, we're reminding ourselves that these experiences are real too. I remember a girlfriend who did one of the sweetest things for me when my mother passed away. Instead of sending me a text like, I'm here for you if you need anything, or let me know what you need, I got a text that said, I'm coming. You don't have to answer the door, but I'm coming to drop food off. So when I leave it, please bring it in and put it in the fridge. She just drove to my house and put food on my step. She didn't even knock on the door because she didn't want me to have to feel like I had to answer it, knowing that I was probably in a lot of pain. She just left the food there. I remember being so grateful that she did that when I was mourning because there was no way I was getting off the couch, and I definitely didn't want to have to entertain somebody at my house or anything. And I just thought, what a great way to show somebody that you uh love and care for them. And it doesn't have to be something as monumental as that. It can be a stranger who held the door open for you, or a friend who just checked in when you needed it. Or maybe it's simply listening without trying to fix anything, which is something I think we need to be better at as human beings. Sometimes when people talk to us, we want to fix everything. And the truth is sometimes people just want to be heard. Not because we're denying the difficult moments, but because we're allowing ourselves to hold both the joy and the sorrow, the grief and the gratitude, the challenges we experience and the hope. These can all exist together. Something that I've learned over the years is gratitude grows through attention, paying attention to moments that are worth being grateful for. Whenever we practice noticing things, it becomes easier to notice them again. If every day we look for what's missing in our lives, our brains become very good at finding what's missing. If every day we gently look for moments of goodness, our awareness begins to expand into the goodness that surrounds us. This doesn't mean that every day feels easy. Some days gratitude might simply sound like, I'm grateful I got out of bed today, or I'm grateful I didn't stub my toe today. But sometimes it's I'm grateful that I drank water today. That's clean. I'm grateful that the sun came out today, and I'm grateful that my body carried me through another day. Small little gratitudes are still gratitude. In fact, those small moments often become the foundation for something much larger. I go on a walk every single morning, and I call it my walk of gratitude. And this started six years ago, and sometimes it's a giant pain in the ass. Sometimes it's freezing cold or it's super hot like it is right now. But I force myself to go out, and by the time I get outside and I look at nature and I breathe in fresh air, it reminds me that I have two legs that are carrying me around. I have the ability to wake up early enough and go for a walk before work. And sometimes nature is what actually reminds me to be grateful. When you look outside and you see animals just trying to survive, it reminds you of the luxuries we have in this life. The first journal prompt that I have is not something that you have to answer right now, but definitely come back to it when you're ready. What are three ordinary things in your life that have quietly supported you this week? This is not about big milestones or extraordinary moments. This is about the ordinary ones. Maybe it's just clean water or your favorite mug or text from a friend or your dog greeting you at the door. Whatever it is, simply name or write down just three ordinary things in your life that have quietly supported you. And then ask yourself, how does my body feel when I truly allow myself to receive the support these things provide? Before we continue, I'm gonna do a quick somatic practice with you. I'd like you to invite yourself to simply notice yourself. Not to judge, not to change anything, just simply notice. How are you feeling in this moment? How does your body feel? Is there ease? Is there tension? Is there fatigue, excitement, sadness, calm, or maybe a mixture of many emotions? Whatever it is, welcome it. Let it be present. One of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves is permission to be exactly where we are. Gratitude doesn't ask us to become someone different before we begin. It simply wants us to notice what is here. This kind of awareness is usually the beginning of self-compassion. And self-compassion creates the conditions where gratitude can naturally grow. Take another slow breath. Inhale through your nose and exhale a little longer than your inhale. I want you to imagine that every exhale is an invitation for your body to soften. Sometimes we spend so much of our lives holding ourselves together that we forget what it feels like to actually be held. Held by a chair or gravity or the rhythm of our breath or present moment. There's something profoundly healing about remembering that you don't have to carry everything by yourself. If you're seated, gently allow your feet to rest fully on the floor. If you're standing, notice the connection between your feet and the ground beneath you. Simply begin to feel the places where your body is making contact. See if you can become curious about the support. Ask yourself, how is the world holding me? Notice the chair supporting your weight or the floor beneath the chair. Notice the earth beneath the floor. Imagine just for a moment that you don't have to brace against life. What happens inside your body when you remember that support already exists. There is no right way to experience this. Simply noticing is enough. One of the beautiful truths about our bodies is that they are always communicating with us. Long before our minds recognize stress, our bodies often whisper, your neck is tight, your jaw is clenched, your stomach's getting upset again. These are not signs that your body is failing you. They're signs that your body is trying to protect you. And when we approach our bodies with gratitude instead of frustration, something shifts inside of us. Instead of asking your body why it's doing this to you, maybe begin asking, what are you trying to tell me? What is it that you need from me today? These simple changes in your perspective can transform the relationship you have with your body. Our bodies stop becoming problems to solve and begin becoming companions to listen to. Our nervous systems are constantly gathering information about whether or not we're safe. Let's gently help the body notice the safety that exists in this moment. Without moving too quickly, slowly allow your eyes to look around the room you're in. Notice all the small details, the colors, the light, the shape, the window, a plant, your favorite photograph, a blanket, a candle, a cup of tea. Whatever catches your attention. Allow yourself to really see it. Take your time. Now notice any sounds around you. Maybe you hear birds, the humming of your air conditioning, a distant car, your own breathing. Notice the temperature of the air on your skin. Can you feel your clothing resting against your body? As you orient to your surroundings, silently remind yourself, I am in this moment, I am here. I am in this moment, I am aware. And I am in this moment, and I choose to be present. You definitely don't need every moment of your life to feel safe, but if this moment holds even a small amount of safety, allow yourself to receive it. Remember what that feels like. I think one of the greatest misunderstandings about gratitude is that people believe they have to feel grateful all the time. But that's impossible. We're human. Some days we wake up inspired, and other days we wake up irritated at the world. Some day my heart feels wide open and ready to receive anybody, and other days I want to crawl back into bed and just be alone. Gratitude isn't meant to replace those experiences, it's meant to accompany them. Imagine gratitude is sitting beside your sadness rather than you trying to push it away. Imagine if gratitude was gently holding your fear instead of you telling it to disappear. If it's comfortable for you, we're going to do some gratitude through gentle movement. Gently roll your shoulders backward, slowly, as though you're creating space around your heart. Now roll them forward. Notice the difference that you're feeling. Stretch your fingers out as wide as you can, and then slowly relax them. Turn your head gently to one side, pause, and then slowly to the other side. There's absolutely no goal here. All we're doing is becoming aware of the movements in our body. We simply are reminding the body that movement is available. As you move, ask yourself, where am I holding unnecessary tension? Can I release just 5% of that tension? I don't need to release all of it, just a little bit. And sometimes that's enough. Take another slow inhale. As you exhale, imagine sending gratitude to the part of your body that's been working the hardest for you lately. Maybe it's your back or your heart, your lungs, your hands. Silently say thank you. Thank you for carrying me. Thank you for trying. I know you've been working hard. Many of us spend years criticizing our bodies. What if today we simply just appreciated them? Let's do another journal prompt. Again, you don't need to write this down now. You can save this for later, but definitely give it a try at some point. If your body could speak to you with complete honesty and complete kindness, what would it thank you for? And what would it gently ask you to begin giving it more of? Would it ask for more rest, for more movement, more laughter, more nourishing food? More boundaries for the family members that annoy us. More quiet time. More joy. More compassion towards ourself. Allow your body to have a voice. Sometimes the answers we need aren't hidden in our minds. They're waiting patiently inside of us. In the world that often encourages us to move faster, do more, and constantly strive for the next thing, we've chosen something different today. You've chosen to pause, to notice, to listen. And sometimes that's one of the bravest things we can do. I hope this episode reminds you that gratitude isn't about having the perfect life. It's about becoming present enough to recognize the life that you're already living. Because this moment, this very breath, is one that you'll never experience again. And there's something sacred about that. I'd like to invite you into one final reflection. Take a slow, easy breath in, and a long, gentle breath out. As you breathe, imagine you're sitting beside a dear friend. A friend that knows everything about you. Your joys, your disappointments, your mistakes, your dreams, your fears. Nothing is hidden from this friend. And yet they look at you with complete compassion. Now imagine that the person sitting beside you is actually your future self. A version of you five years from now. Someone who has grown through challenges, who has learned to trust themselves way more deeply, who has found moments of peace even when life remained imperfect. Imagine your future self smiling warmly. What would they thank you for today? Perhaps they would say, thank you for not giving up. Thank you for asking for help. Thank you for resting when you needed it. Or thank you for believing that small steps mattered. Allow those words to settle into your heart today. Sometimes gratitude isn't about appreciating the past. Sometimes it's about honoring the choices we're making today that our future selves will one day be grateful for. And one last journal prompt I want to leave you with: what version of myself am I becoming through the small choices I make every day? Notice that it doesn't ask who you're trying to become. It asks who you already become. Every act of kindness, every boundary, every nourishing meal, every deep breath, every difficult conversation, and every moment you choose compassion over criticism, these moments shape your life far more than the perfection ever could. And if you still have time and you're not driving in the car, I'm gonna end this podcast with a guided gratitude meditation. It's short and I hope you enjoy it. If you're in a place where it's safe to do so, allow your eyes to gently close. If you'd rather keep them open, simply soften your gaze. Begin by noticing your breath. There's nowhere to rush, nothing to accomplish, and nothing to fix. Simply breathe. Inhale slowly through your nose and exhale gently through your mouth. Allow yourself to inhale calm and exhale tension. One more time, we're going to inhale presence and exhale anything that no longer serves you. Bring awareness to your feet. And notice the support beneath them. Silently whisper thank you. Bring your awareness to your legs and everything they've carried you through, every place they've ever taken you. Thank you. Bring your awareness to your hips, your abdomen, and your back. Even if they've held discomfort, even if they've carried stress. Offer them gratitude for continuing to support you. Thank you. Now bring awareness to your chest, noticing your heart. Without asking anything from you, it has continued beating since before you were born. Take a moment to appreciate that quiet miracle. Thank you. Notice your lungs, breath after breath, day after day, keeping you alive without asking for any recognition. Offer your lungs some gratitude. Thank you. Bring awareness to your shoulders. Imagine them becoming just a little lighter. As if they no longer need to carry everything all at once. Notice your hands and everything they've created. Everything they've held, and everything they've comforted. Thank you. Notice your face. Relax your forehead. Soften your jaw. Allow your tongue to rest in your mouth. Let your eyes become soft. And take another slow breath. Imagine a warm golden light beginning in the center of your chest. A gentle light that is comforting and steady. With every inhale, that light grows a little brighter. And with every exhale, it spreads through your body, into your shoulders, your arms and hands, your belly, hips, and legs, your feet, your neck, and your face. Your whole body is gently wrapped in warmth and light. Now imagine that this light is extending beyond you towards someone you love, someone who has supported you, or someone who may need kindness today. Without saying a word, simply send them a silent wish. May you know peace. May you know love. May you know that you are not alone. And take one slow breath. And as you exhale, receive those same wishes for yourself. May I know peace. May I know love. May I remember that I am not alone. Allow yourself to repeat these words quietly to yourself. I welcome this moment exactly as it is. I allow gratitude to grow gently without force. I can hold both joy and sorrow with compassion. I trust that small moments create meaningful change. I am learning to receive the support that already surrounds me. I am worthy of kindness. I am already enough, exactly as I am, exactly where I am. Thank you for showing up for yourself, and until we meet again, may you move through your days with curiosity, compassion, and a grateful heart. Take care, and I'll see you next week.